Personal Alchemy - Vivienne Cole
Hello, what do you do? What happened to how do you do?
I haven’t focused on studying for a PhD. I am not considered wealthy by any traditional standard of measurement, or even ‘well connected’. I don’t claim celebrity status, or profess to be an expert in any one thing. In fact, I can’t be defined by what I do, or placed in any kind of box. I have no disciples, and in turn, follow no doctrine, religion, modality or path. I can’t say I’ve scaled the highest mountain on Earth or experienced the deepest loss or tragedy. I haven’t had a life-changing illness, or some kind of revelation. I am a single drop in the ocean – just one tiny speck of humanity. Yet I am on the same journey that we all take, as we try and make sense of the world we live in.
And it all started with one question, “There must be more?”
As a child I was afraid of death and couldn’t believe that one day I could be here having all these experiences and the next gone, the entire sum of my life erased in an instant – why? Perhaps it was this single thought that opened doors, or that led me to this point?
I am not a Philosopher, yet I can’t help but philosophise on the very thing I’m in
the middle of participating in. I’ve lived every chapter of this adventure. It is my experience – the understanding that has evolved – yet it is not about my individual journey. It is a collective journey, from our very first breath to our last. And if there are others who can relate to this journey, and hold the same question – then I am not alone.
I am trying to make my life more fulfilling, more rewarding, and much simpler – something we all might wish to achieve. I care about others and I want to brighten their lives – a goal that most of us aim for. At the same time I also want to protect our environment – a desire that every living being has if they want to help sustain ‘life as we know It’.
I don’t have all the answers, yet I can offer many insights – because this is what happened to me. The more I asked the more I discovered, and the further I travelled in my search, the closer I came to the truth and to the realisation – it all comes back to me.
Not to me as a personality that someone can read about and be inspired by, but me as a person, as a representative of any one of us; of the common bond that we share. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we do, how much money we have, where we live or what we believe in – it is how we relate to the world and the others around us that matters. If we take everything else away – all that is meant to be a measure of our success and our place in the world, or our entire ‘framework’, what remains?
The last thing I expected was to write a book, yet it is this act in itself that shows, by example, what can happen if you keep asking the same question; if you keep listening to your heart, and ignore all the voices of reason.
I built up my career; my credentials, my investments and my possessions, and then I took everything away. This is the result.
When the world demands a persona, how do we find value in what we have inside, in the essence of who we are as a person? If we deconstruct our lives how can we then fit in, once we’ve removed everything that is meant to identify or define us as part of a niche, a group, or a social order? If we can’t be classified, how do we learn to appreciate our value, or to identify with our self?
We keep asking the same question.
The childhood dreams
Nature was my kingdom, I loved to lie in the grass and watch the clouds. I made the flowers talk, and the world would come alive. I believed in magic; in the fairies and elves and giants of the tales I would devour. I talked to the animals and spent carefree days in the sun. And then something changed – I had to make choices. Responsibilities started to increase; the time for play was over. I wasn’t aware how significantly my life would change.
The career path
Leaving behind my life in a little valley, I moved to the city. I studied and then climbed the ladder that led to the glass ceiling; at 30 I had everything I thought I wanted. I was an awarded creative director of an innovative international agency, doing what I believed I loved, and had worked so hard towards. Yet something was missing.
The pursuit of passions
I had the house I aimed for, and a wonderful busy lifestyle, filled with more possibilities than I could imagine. I had money to travel, and took every opportunity to explore the world. I wanted to see everything, to experience everything. I sailed across oceans, and parachuted from aircraft – I had to feel alive, to race as fast as I could from one physical challenge to the next, as I sought to push the boundaries and to overcome any fear. I rekindled my creative spirit by trying everything that I thought might arouse my interest; I looked for new ways to increase my repertoire. But the question still remained.
The search for meaning
As I followed my intuition I had new experiences, ones that I couldn’t explain. I realised that my dreams foretold everything that evolved, and I looked for the answers. I joined groups and found organisations, wanting to meet people who could help me understand. Books leapt out to me, and my horizon kept expanding. Healing sessions followed, and I started to put together the pieces of the puzzle. Suddenly everything that had led to this point started to make sense. A picture was forming. I observed the growing number of coincidences, and I noticed many differences. I realise there’s more.
The quest for belonging
The bright lights of the city no longer captivated me – I longed for wide-open spaces, the peace and quiet that would allow me to create; I needed to paint. I revived my childhood fascination for all the mysteries, and my love of Nature. I enjoyed finding a community. Yet we are meant to make decisions, and I found only growing confusion. Different beliefs, and paths to follow, that all required a commitment to one direction – a market filled with so many promises. How do we discern? Where do I belong, why do I have to choose? I know there’s so much more, because the answers came.
The desire for freedom
I found balance. I realised that I already belonged. I can’t say I am one thing because I am the sum of all of these things. I am able to pull together the many fragments required to create a bigger picture – a wider peripheral view of the intricate workings of our lives. Once I started writing (by hand), the words didn’t stop flowing onto the pages – so quickly at times I could hardly keep up. And I know there’s more…
Vivienne Cole works with individuals and groups under the banner ‘Elixir of Life release your true essence’ – helping others to unlock their creativity, realise their dreams and awaken to their full potential.
Vivienne was born in New Zealand and made her home in the Southern Highlands of New South Wales, Australia, before settling in Languedoc Roussillon, in the South of France. She is best described as ‘creative’ and enjoys working as a writer, photographer and illustrator. She also a 'guardienne' for animals and a guide to the wonders of her region. Vivienne photographed the book ‘Lunch with Madame Murat’ by Mary Moody (Pan Macmillan), designed ‘Mystic Wisdom’ for A.M.O.R.C, and is the author of ‘A Wing and A Prayer – The flight to freedom’ and ‘Winged Messenger’. She facilitates development classes, meditations, talks and workshops, and is the creator, illustrator and publisher of Colour-in Mandala Wishes Cards.