Feature Articles
The Three Graces faith, hope and charity
Our cups are raised, held in a toast,
Joined together, to bless our host.
For life and all its wondrous things,
Is ours to savour – what joy it brings.
Three maidens most fair, a trinity we,
A triangle made of faith, hope and charity.
Golden chalices are held high as life in all its goodness is celebrated, filled to the brim for the toast, just as glasses are charged for our happiest occasions. Representing abundance and joy, and everything coming together towards a common goal; fruition, a harvest – victory. A time for good cheer and festivities, after much toil. Symbolic of recognition and of gain; three ‘cups of knowledge’ offered forth to the Heavens, as thanks is given.
When it comes to a time of celebration we can find good cause to count our many blessings and wish others every success. But what about looking at more mundane occasions – do we forget, as we go about our daily tasks, to collect the drops of goodness from every situation?
If things aren’t going according to plan, do we question the experiences that we are left facing as we struggle to find the benefit of some of life’s harder lessons? What if we’re accustomed to the lows that seem to come after our high points – the morning after a night of excess, or the inevitable slump after we’ve reached the highest of spirits? The holiday, and then the return to reality, our picnic suddenly rained on, or our prediction that something was too good to be true playing out, just to prove us right.
As a child, we didn’t have such defined lines between one side of the scale and the other, because our lives weren’t filled with expectations. We were in the moment, caught in the act of discovery of our environment, and continuously opening our eyes to new possibilities. There was no future – we were too preoccupied with learning and absorbing our new experiences. There was no past, because we were starting with a clean slate and entering into a new state of being – a beginning – a naissance or birth into a world that began to teach us through our interaction with it.
As we gained an understanding of our environment we started to build a ‘perception’. A view, a way of seeing due to all of our experiments and the conclusions that we drew as we witnessed results. We acted and we observed reactions. We pushed the boundaries and tested our parent’s patience, and received feedback on just where the limits lay, because we could monitor the mood we encountered.
We learnt to read a ‘certain tone of voice’ and to discern the unseen energies at work, in terms of sensing approval and disapproval. In our eagerness to please we started to modify our behaviour to register approval in our audience – reward became a safer path than punishment and allowed us to find a sense of balance, or wellbeing.
Praise always feels good. We recognise it immediately, it buoys us, or lifts us up to a level where we bathe in the glow of acceptance. We’ve done the right thing. We’ve conformed, or we’ve acted in a way that we receive validation from others that they agree with our behaviour, or that it is therefore right, or correct, as some sort of standard or measure for what is considered most admirable.
On the other hand, if we’re constantly put down, we know how it feels. The sound of defeat echoes through our ears – we feel deflated, that perhaps we’ve only let ourselves and others down. Flat or lethargic or lifeless, all the words we naturally use to describe this familiar state.
Punishment has us marginalised. Separated from the pack – the dunce sitting alone in the corner as a subject of ridicule. We have in one way or another, failed to please, or to illicit a response from others that confirms their approval. Our ideas, or contribution, or actions, or gestures towards an outcome have been rejected or ignored – brushed aside as being inconsequential, or misunderstood.
As we go through life we learn to ride the highs and to roll with the punches, finding ourselves either in or out of favour, depending on our behaviour.
We look to others to provide the indicators that tell us whether we’ve hit the mark or have fallen a little short of expectations. We modify our actions and our deeds accordingly, constantly seeking the approval that makes us feel good. We gather together an entourage of people who will pick us up if we feel down – we engage ‘supporters’. We collect accolades that prove we deserve to be recognised by others for our achievements. We garner the possessions and brand labels that are the outward or visible signs of our success; we aim to impress.
Yet what if our best intentions still fall on deaf ears? Or no matter how hard we try, there is still someone who’s going to be there to beat us? Or if we’ve climbed to the top, only to find that we’d failed to notice some of the signposts along the way? And what if we’ve become so dependent on everything we’ve created outwardly to display our value as a ‘person worth knowing’, that we’ve become reliant on our audience, our status, or our place in society to tell us who we are – all based on the image we have chosen to portray, or project out into the world?
If we take it all away, what really remains? Without a string of degrees or qualifications, are we considered capable? If nobody admires us for our achievements, are we worth knowing? If we can’t ‘rub two cents together’, have we lost all of our senses, along with our self-esteem? If we fail to conform are we seen as deliberately challenging – a destructive element that has suddenly crept in to challenge the status quo?
What if we were to take away our clothes? Our uniform, our statement, or our homage to fashion – we can now be arrested because we’ve flouted the laws of decency considered acceptable as the ‘norm’ for society. We are civilised, and therefore subject to many unwritten codes, as well as those contained in legal tomes.
As we grow up we gain an understanding of where the acceptable range lies. The two ends of the scale couldn’t be further apart. Hero, or outcast. Celebrity, or degenerate. Brilliant, or brainless. The Golden Child, or The Black Sheep of the family.
We are witness to the constant judgments that take place, and we’re guilty of applying the same methods to the way we sum everything up. We are taught how to set and comply to standards, and shown the consequences of not adhering to the principles, as others shun us if we refuse to fall into line. Yet some things don’t make sense. Sometimes there are two rule books, or we can see rewards being given, or praise being meted out for the things that ‘go against our grain’.
Our conscience makes itself known, and we call into question what we are being shown. If we can see another elevated by dishonest means, it doesn’t feel right. If we observe power being misused our natural sense of justice rises up from somewhere within us to signal ‘all is not well’. If we witness greed, we feel a sense of sickening in our stomach. Our body tells us; we get used to reading or interpreting the little indicators that allow us to navigate our way through situations as we ‘test the waters’ for ourselves.
We are constantly monitoring the signals we receive, consciously and unconsciously adjusting to the conditions we find ourselves facing. When triggered, our defences immediately go up, and when threatened, we are instantly spurred into the mode that aims to preserve our life – the instinct for survival kicks in. We can ‘smell rats’ and somehow sense things have been left unsaid or swept under the carpet. We can feel conversations that have been left ‘hanging’ as adeptly as we sense our ‘ears burning’ when we are being discussed.
We walk around without realising how we transmit and receive energy, or that we are constantly subject to vibrations as we pick up different atmospheres and modify our movements according to what feels most comfortable.
We’ve all felt the warnings not to venture further. The hairs on the back of our neck prickling, or a sinking feeling, a knot, or tension so palpable the air could be sliced – nothing more than our natural instincts ‘tuning in’ and assessing our wellbeing, as our intelligent system protects its own interests. It’s only interested in one thing – maintaining ‘whole and perfect functioning of self as an organism’, or preserving the optimum conditions necessary to sustain life. Nothing more, nothing less. Concerned only with our wellbeing and continued thriving as a species, and sending the indicators that allow us to assess and acknowledge whether we’ve strayed from perfect functioning, through a masterfully engineered system of self-diagnostic checks that are administered without the need for our intervention.
Nothing like having to remember to get the car serviced; our vehicle monitors its own performance at all times and self-adjusts accordingly – if we let it. If we learn to listen we work with our body; we recognise and respond to the signals we are given, like those that call for sleep. We know the indicators that appear when stress is present, and we are given the opportunity to modify the conditions and alleviate our response to them.
It’s simple. A child can do it. They know it’s either ‘go, go, go’, or stop immediately and regenerate. They’re operating to the rhythm of Nature and the energy levels that are present to sustain activity – then they recharge their batteries.
For healing to occur we know that we have to let it; we have to give our body a chance to work its magic while we get to shut down or switch into autopilot, allowing the natural forces to rally, and come to our aid.
If we pull a leaf off a plant, another will grow. We understand decay and renewal, we watch as life slips away and is cleverly replaced. Life goes on, and regardless of what we do to interfere in the process, it always finds a way. It’s part of something much bigger, a grand plan that orchestrates its behaviour. It reaches to the light and feeds from the goodness of the earth that supports its existence.
It just is. Suspended. Held in a state of wellbeing, or coming back into balance if this wellbeing has been compromised in any way. It’s not suffering, or left behind in its struggle, or ignored, or in any state less than its potential for perfection.
It is a natural program that keeps running, and that flows through all things. The intelligence to flourish, to come to fruition, and to contribute to the web of life by actively playing a part that enables all of life to reach its highest potential. To maintain, sustain and gain, in other words, to evolve in a healthy natural way to fulfill the unique expression or purpose there to be served by participating as a part in the ‘whole of creation’.
Not an independent or separate piece, but part of the whole picture of life as an interconnected system that feeds itself and enriches the whole, allowing evolution to take place. Each individual expression of this whole is equally important – as it holds everything together like glue – having a necessary function or part to play that needs no introduction or meaning attached to it – it just is.
There for a reason, and we don’t always have to know why. Just like we don’t need to have medical degrees to trust that our skin will heal when we cut it, or need to know how all the intricate processes work. Yet we know it’s possible because we’ve seen it. We have experienced it, so we know for ourselves, because perhaps if someone told us that our bodies have these miraculous healing powers we might not believe them.
After all, it sounds a bit far-fetched to say that invisible forces are at work, without our command, all rallying around a result we haven’t got any control over, regardless of our consent, or whether we deserve to be helped or not. And, if we don’t happen to own a microscope, we just have to believe what we’re told does occur.
So part of our beliefs are gained by direct experience and observation of results, and through the interpretation of our own signals that notify us of our condition and distance to ‘danger’, and the rest, from outside sources.
They are borrowed, handed down or passed on. Second-hand beliefs, because they may have come from others experiences, which are of course uniquely theirs, or a collective pool of thought, or ‘popular opinion’, or accepted belief like ‘the world is indeed round’. Or from very reputable academic sources, or from scientific analysis, which aims to prove a propensity for certain behaviour and in some way define the boundaries of what is thought possible.
We take on others fears and we foster new doubts every time we are exposed to concepts that are not part of our own understanding, because we haven’t experienced them for ourselves. We therefore try and fit them in to our experience, or rate them on some kind of invisible scale of relevance to our own lives. The words of caution; accepted and filed away in our storehouse of emotions should we need to call on them, and all the ‘what-if’ scenarios held as backup for future claims.
If we hear often enough that something has happened to another, eventually we believe that there is a possibility it will happen to us. And the more we reinforce our belief, the stronger the probability becomes that we will receive the outcome as part of our own direct experience, and we will soon be able to form our own more informed opinion that serves to reinforce our thinking.
It’s easy to understand how it happens if we look at the patterns. Every time we gather evidence that either proves or disproves something we build our case, and then see the results playing out.
We know that if we maintain our focus and effort as we work towards our goals, we eventually reach them. The exact same principle applies if we continue to reinforce a belief that has a negative outcome – we allow it to gather momentum and therefore to form or to take shape, in answer to all the attention we have lavished on it.
It stands to reason that the lower we go the harder it is to pick ourselves up, because we’ve already piled a number of burdens on our shoulders; the weight of responsibility and guilt plaguing us. Wallowing in the mire, as we drown our sorrows in a sea of discontent, a victim, or in the act of finding fault or blame. Feeling sorry for ourselves and finding ways to deal out punishment as we try and atone for our sins through penitence, or self-sacrifice or sabotage of our best efforts, because we believe ourselves to be most unworthy of any goodness.
A vicious circle once we are caught in its downward spiral. Fuelled with regret and harbouring only discontent; everything spinning out of control, against the very nature of evolution and progress – the antithesis of life.
We might call it ‘destructive behaviour’ because we can see its impact, or the aftermath. We can see the warpath, or the binge behaviour that accompanies a kind of death wish. We can describe a type of living hell, filled with the cries of anguish and torment, or an endless type of repetition that feels like treading water, or being trapped, always being pulled under by a strong current; caught in a whirlpool or vortex of depression that sucks the lifeblood and joy from our lives.
Some delve deeper than others. Many are unaware, because once we become accustomed to this state it can feel ‘normal’ – that life doesn’t always deal a kind hand – something we are meant to accept as ‘our lot’, and then to try and make the most of what we’ve got.
If we don’t believe we have a choice, why would we make one? If we’ve been trained to cope with a routine that hardly thrills us, have we forgotten what it even feels like to be free? Do we even know how to define freedom?
Does it mean that we are the ones who get to call the shots and decide what we’re going to do with our time? Or that we are comfortable financially, and never have to worry about where our next dollar is coming from?
Or could we liken it to having flexibility – to be able to pursue what we feel like at the drop of a hat – to be spontaneous and to invite change into our lives as something that is refreshing. Is it about freeing up our precious time so we can enjoy it more fully – engaged in all of the things that we love, having allocated the rest to others?
We get to focus on what makes us happy, once we decide what that is. Leisurely lunches and shopping excursions only carry us so far – what gives us a sense of purpose? Pursuing a hobby or interest that reignites our desire to learn and grow? Travels, as we set off on adventures that add to the sense we have of the world – our global village – and aim to further our understanding of all its peoples and customs?
What if worldliness is akin to godliness, and that as we broaden our perspective due to increasing our experiences and therefore building our own repertoire, we can liken our new comprehension to something we might consider All-Seeing?
The Eye in the Sky with its unique view, that allows it to perceive a myriad of different points of view, simultaneously. Something that knows everything, is the sum of everything, and is somehow in charge of the way everything plays out, for its own amusement of course – like a puppeteer pulling our strings and orchestrating a performance that we are not privy to, just ‘caught up in’, with little chance of controlling anything, as much as we like to think we can.
Don’t we want to be the ones in charge of our lives at all times? The decision-makers and planners and goal definers, as we use our very fine abilities to find reason and apply logic and follow a chosen course. Nothing left to chance, because chances are, we will fail or we will miss out on something, or lose, or realise our worst fears because we’ve thought of all our ‘what-if’ scenarios – we’d rather be prepared.
Prepared for what? Surprises? The unexpected – a pleasant turn of events? Or the worst? Not likely to let our guard down for a minute, sure that if we don’t stick to our schedule that our entire life will become unstuck?
Unknowingly, we’ve just hit an obstacle to our progress.
The more we lay everything out according to what makes us comfortable, by staying within our known or defined zone of operation, even if we happen to be venturing into unfamiliar territory, the more we prevent ourselves from hitting the high notes that truly define us. From reaching more exalted states, because we’re willing, and receptive, and open, and welcoming, rather than walking a familiar track because it’s easy, and because we think we’ve assessed all the pitfalls.
Are we used to watering-down our experiences? Quite happy with a degree of compromise? Better ‘safe than sorry’ we might say – the media is full of examples of those who have gone astray.
We like the idea of security, of a safety blanket, and of a little nest egg put aside. We want to know that we can count on our hard-earned savings when we’ve been busy planning for that rainy day that lies somewhere in our future. Our sense of wellbeing is tied to the knowledge that we have money, or at least the ability to earn money, because money is what enables our freedom.
Money equals means, and as our form of exchange, locks us into an equation. We exchange our time and energy in return for money, which in turn gives us the power to buy what we deem necessary for our survival along with what brings us pleasure, or we might call leisure.
We are caught in an agreement, locked into a fixed term or contract, and completely reliant on the functioning of this system. We can’t survive on our own. Even if we entertain the idea of returning to some type of self-sustaining existence or hunter-gatherer model, we cannot get around the requirement for money as the main method of exchange. It needs to come into our lives and pass though our hands – or does it seem like it slips through our fingers?
Is there ever enough of it – no matter how much we acquire could we always do with more, because it gives us more choices?
We get to decide whatever it is we would like to do with our windfall, or gain, or good fortune, when it happens to come our way. We can help others, we are suddenly in a position where not only are our lives blessed with abundance, we get to share this with whomever we choose.
Is this what our dreams are made of? The measure of our success – the epitome of stability, as we then ensure we have ourselves sitting on the sturdiest foundations that our money can buy?
We like guarantees. We like to know that everything is taken care of, that if something we hadn’t factored in suddenly turns up we can deal with it easily. Money maketh the man – and it makes our world go round.
But what about love?
Do we remember the songs that insist it is love, not money, that’s the most important thing – the only real way we’ll find fulfillment, yet the only thing that money can’t buy? Something we can’t control, we can’t just save it up or squirrel it away, and if we set our sights on someone, chances are it won’t be as simple as following a game plan before we can call them ours – except we never can, we don’t own the person who might be the object of our affections, in the way that we might acquire a valuable possession.
Something greater is at work, a hidden force; some kind of energy behind the scenes that rouses our interest or has us discovering love in the strangest of places. It is fickle, and somewhat unpredictable. We can’t have it made to order or fit everything into the neat little box we’d like it to be, there’s an element of mystery. And that’s what excites us, for without a little bit of magic, how boring would our lives be? If we knew everything, what would be the fun in living from day to day?
We like challenges and we love a bit of adventure to pull us from the mundane to the extraordinary – at least we secretly like to hold on to the thought that it is possible. Knights on white chargers coming to sweep us away, or the fair maidens that need rescuing – the archetypes we are so accustomed to as we read about them in tales and take on board our own wishes for a happy ending. We can all write our own version of happiness – except why is it we’re even seeking it?
Are we not entirely content with all of the aspects of our lives? Is it easy to find fault, or think that we are somehow missing out on something, or being left behind – somewhat lacking, if we can’t have everything we’ve set our sights on in an instant?
We’re trained to want things that we see. To reach towards purchases and to make progress towards end results, but where does that leave us in the meantime? In a no-mans land, neither here nor there, in some kind of holding pattern where we’ve made a start but by no means ‘arrived’, and therefore have trouble appreciating the point we’ve reached, because our sights are always set ahead of us?
It’s ingrained. We’re not told to just surrender and drift along or to go with the flow because it’s seen as letting go of our bearings – to be adrift without a compass, to be indecisive or unsure about what we want because we’re not actively directing it. We might be at the mercy of the elements – tossed around and washed up on some unknown shore, completely out of our depth, or marooned from being a part of
wider society.
Once we let Nature take over and guide our course, we get to face our fears. And before we can deal with ours, we are bombarded with others. What are we doing, throwing everything away? Don’t we have something to ‘fall back on’? What are we going to do next?
Put our trust in ourselves, and put our faith in our own competent hands?
Once we realise that we hold the power to shape our lives in whatever way we wish, it is easy to find faith. All we need do is believe in ourselves. Not in who we are meant to be, or what we happen to have done, but in the part of us that remains when we take all else away. The person that really just wants to enjoy all the goodness in life – a goal that we might even agree we all share? A person who just wants to be loved and appreciated – something perhaps that others might relate to? A person that wants to feel a sense of support and belonging, a place we call home – is it possible that this is a common goal?
With faith comes hope, that surely it must be possible, or why would we keep returning to the same yearning for something we haven’t yet achieved – it must be on the horizon? We haven’t found it yet, but we know it exists. Our lives are filled with the quest for understanding where the answers lie. If we are perfectly happy, why are we still searching?
When we are filled with hope we are sustained – we are lifted by something that is greater than either the sum of us or what we’re capable of imagining. The horizon becomes much vaster, and the possibilities much greater – the chances that something lies just out of our sphere of perception, more imminent. We entertain the idea of possibilities. We welcome opportunity – we know we’ll be ready when it comes knocking.
Which brings us to charity. Not the money that we like to give out to support good causes’ but the love that we need to find for ourselves, the lightness on our toes.
The compassion required, to take some weight from our load.
We’re better at helping others than letting up on the pressure we put ourselves under if we can’t see results. If we’re not currently ‘satisfied’ then we must have failed – we haven’t done enough. We must work harder and find more money, or make more time, or reshuffle our priorities – there’s something not right in our equation if we’re not suffused in the glow of love for life. An ingredient we’ve missed off our shopping list, or some elusive little point that we’ve skipped.
Why should any of us want for anything? Don’t we all want the same thing, our wellbeing? What do we have to do to own it?
Claim it back. Declare it is ours already. Insist that we’ve always had it. Own it completely.