Feature Articles
The Cup is Always Full
We’re quite familiar with this example: when we look at a glass it is either half full or half empty depending on the way we choose to see it, a reflection of our inner state and how we happen to be viewing our life on any given day.
Having climbed out of bed on the wrong side, or awakened as fresh as a daisy to embrace the new morn. Disgruntled, or filled with hope – a sense of joy that bubbles along with our enthusiasm – or flat and lifeless if we’ve had enough or our current circumstances or predicament. Wearing either rose-tinted glasses, or a darker shade that shields us from the light because we really want to hide from our troubles.
We can hardly be bouncy if we’re shouldering a weight, and certainly not optimistic if we’re feeling irate. We’re too busy engaged in a battle with ourselves to recognise the goodness that surrounds us. Too distracted by the state of our own misery to raise our eyes to appreciate the blue sky, and definitely not whistling our own happy tune if we’re out of step with the rhythm of life, or the natural flow of all things as they evolve to a higher state.
We’re stuck in a rut or chasing our tail, and not exactly moving forward to a brighter place when we become caught up with issues that vie for our time and attention. We become stretched – the tether we keep our self on at breaking point, as we long to break free of our commitments and constraints, and of increased obligations and complaints.
Our spirits become low and our energy slow, as we lack the lustre to really shine, we become tired, and acutely aware of time. The hands on the clock are ticking along quite smoothly, yet our lives are divided into allotments and tasks that fit each segment calling for our attention. Fragments; each one claimed by something we must manage to the best of our abilities, the pages in our diary filled with places we need to be and people with whom we need to catch up – yet the only person we can’t catch up with is our self.
As our lives become increasingly filled with all the things we are busy doing, we forget about the art of just being. Of being aware of how we’re really feeling, and of being in tune with what’s really going on in our body – the ability to read the signs that indicate whether everything is in balance or not. The onset of pain or symptoms of stress – giving us the opportunity to address the conditions we’ve imposed on ourselves and to chart a different course.
Our intelligent system has many signals to indicate to us whether we are connected to a state of wellbeing, or have strayed and need to come back into alignment. If something is not right we sense it, we learn to discern the feelings that niggle away at us causing an underlying ripple of disquiet – or some kind of deeper awareness that although we might be functioning and pushing ourselves along, we are really masking what’s going on.
We’re good at finding distractions that draw our attention away from our inner workings and issues, and keep it divided as we engage with our external environments. Noise, conversations, activities and entertainment – our senses are attuned to these outer forms of communication.
If we dare to sit in silence and commune with ourselves, who knows what will pop up? All the emotions we’ve suppressed in order to get on with what we feel must be done? Our doubts, anxieties and worries – gnawing away and feeding our growing insecurities? A few battles with our conscience over decisions we’ve made? Or the gut instincts that tell us that we aren’t feeling fulfilled by embarking on the current course that we’ve chosen, urging us to reconsider our actions?
Or perhaps a reminder that our heart’s not in something, that no matter how much we try and justify it in our head our enthusiasm can’t be raised to match our circumstances?
Something is missing. Can we put our finger on it? Can we identify exactly what it is that seems to undermine the sense of peace we might wish to claim, or the ‘happiness’ that we seek to name?
What makes us happy? Is it really a state we need to aim for or somehow reorganise our priorities to achieve – something that we work towards?
Perhaps it is easier to think of it as something we can accept in bite-sized pieces as we savour the moments of contentment and joy that come into our lives – the spaces between the lines that constitute what we’re busy writing, as we separate any type of ‘working reality’ from our leisure, or pleasure.
Work and play; as clearly defined as black and white, or day and night. Dedication, and then the rewards for our efforts – ours to spend in whatever way we choose. A balancing act, as we consider the time allocated to the flip sides of the coin. Income and outcomes, or ‘expenditure of time and energy in the form of labour’ and then ‘material gain’ that allows us to spend the remainder of our time enjoying life.
An equation, a deal; a bargain we’ve struck. A necessity for our survival as we venture out into the big wide world of adulthood and responsibilities and make our way, to the best of our abilities. A given; an expectation placed on us by society and ourselves – we must perform. We have to keep up – our reputation depends on it.
Our survival and continued thriving is dependent upon our ability to provide for ourselves and our families, and to maintain a level of provision, regardless of the ups and downs we might encounter.
We expect growth; a continuous improvement in our prospects and living conditions, because this is what is measured as the mark of our success. The results that speak for themselves, that enable others to see that we have achieved a degree of mastery or control over our destiny that allows us surety, or security.
We endeavour to create a safe and stable environment that protects and furthers our interests, and allows us to then feel a sense of wellbeing or comfort – the familiarity of the known as we then venture out into the unknown, and retreat back to the relative safety of our nest. We shape our environments to reflect our tastes and to support our need for a sanctuary or shelter from what we might consider some of the ‘harsher realities’ of the world. Without a space or place to call our own we are vulnerable or at the mercy of the elements, or the forces of nature at work in our environment.
The unknown is something we perceive as presenting a risk. Things can go either way – in our favour or against. We see two sides to everything – the light and the shadow. Our fortunes are potentially raised, or our luck runs out. We receive, or somehow end up on the receiving end of some misfortune – as a victim. We willingly embrace possibilities and take our chances, yet chances are we might be disappointed. Therefore, it is easier to hedge our bets and to err on the side of caution, and prepare for the worst, should it happen to us, because we start to develop an idea that the potential that exists is not always to our advantage – we see detriment.
We compare. One minute we’re rolling in clover and the next, threatened by an eventuality that we hadn’t planned for. The unexpected often comes in the form of a shock rather than what we might see as a surprise or miracle.
We’re braced for the worst. We learn to take the tests that come to us ‘in our stride’, overcoming obstacles to our progress and forging on regardless. If we are knocked down we dust ourselves off, check our dented pride and continue, telling ourselves that this is what life is about. Strength through adversity, trials and struggles that only serve to make us better, because we come through with a new sense of determination. We won’t make the same mistake next time – we have learnt a valuable lesson.
We start to see peaks and pitfalls and aim to smooth things out to a more manageable pace. We compromise; instead of reaching the for the highs we settle for something a little less risky, a watered-down version of our dreams, as we trade like for alike in our efforts to control the fluctuations we experience in our lives – defining our boundaries by placing limits on what we will accept.
We unknowingly clip our wings. And we reduce potential possibilities every time we define a fixed parameter. Something that won’t rock our boat too much; steady and gradual progress up our social and economic ladder allows us to adjust in increments to any changes, rather than have to handle dramatic upsets to our equilibrium.
When we were children we might have been thrilled by the unexpected, yet as adults, we like to contain our excitement to the walls of the box we’ve placed ourselves in. We seek to name or define our experiences, and label and categorise them accordingly.
The departments of our lives become compartments for emotional material we’ve filed away for reference; should we need help in making a decision or acting on our own advice, we need only retrieve the proof we’ve accumulated in our ‘belief systems’ to support our actions and arguments. Everything that we need is therefore queuing up to have its ‘day in court’ – its hearing in our particular case as we call upon the evidence we’ve gathered as we’ve marched along life’s path and learnt from our mistakes.
The mis-takes. The times we figure we haven’t quite got it right and like to keep alive as memories to remind us of where we went wrong. A type of punishment as we can admonish ourselves and then crack the whip a bit harder when our spirits are flagging, pushing ourselves on because we have reminders of what it is like to fail, in our own eyes, by not meeting our expectations.
‘Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.’ Our expectations upon our self vary in line with our ideals, and the perceived boundaries we have placed them in. We either live up to them, or we are left a little lacklustre or disappointed by our performance. If we fail to shine or to stand out we are dull, a less than gleaming example that has lost a bit of ‘sparkle’. Aladdin’s lamp covered in layer of dust; the potential to see our wishes manifest not realised as we’ve accumulated a few layers of ‘defenses’, or ‘protection’, that hide our true desires.
Somehow, we’ve been fooling our self into believing that we’re not capable or worthy of much more than what we’ve chosen. We’ve lowered our expectations to what we consider is ‘within our reach’ and therefore we reduce any possible disappointment to a minimum – a tiny tumble that is far more comfortable if we fall a short distance than if we were to crash from a great height – we’ve reduced our might.
Expectations fit within the known; the planned for and prepared outcomes that call upon our existing beliefs of what is possible, and lie within the boundaries covered by our many ‘what if’ scenarios that support our predicted outcome in any given situation. ‘Unexpected’ comes with a twist. A high degree of uncertainty and therefore warning bells that indicate we are about to breach the outer perimeter of our comfort zone, and venture into the unknown. The unpredictable uncharted waters, that lie beyond anywhere we’ve ever gone before.
Shaky ground; new territory waiting to be discovered, and divided into hostile or friendly, depending on our experiences. The realms that lie outside of what we are already capable of imagining; something unequalled by our present understanding or unevaluated in our current calculations.
Space – the final frontier. The Void. The Universe: a place of infinite and unlimited possibilities that can’t be qualified, or arranged to neatly fit our agenda. Potential in incredible proportions creating a vastness that can make us seem quite insignificant in the whole scheme of things.
Here we are; a tiny speck of collected thoughts, words and actions, trying to make sense of our lives and enjoy them to the fullest. Except we can’t actually see the fullness of the bigger picture from our vantage point as we engage in what we think will bring us the most fulfillment in life, to the best of our knowledge and our ability to grasp what it is that makes us feel the most content.
The stars above us as we gaze up remind us of something greater than the sum of us, yet we still like to define what that is. What makes us who we are? Our collected experiences to date? Our examples of outer success – the wares that we display to others that guarantee their respect and allow them to categorise us according to our rank? Our achievements, as long as they are recognised of course; the awards and accolades we have received as a result of our efforts? Our title, or our name, or the letters that accompany our academic fame?
Or is it what we believe in that sets us apart, and puts us into a particular square with others who think the same way, thus reinforcing our ideas? Our home, our children,
our garden patch, or the legacy we are in the middle of leaving for future generations?
Or, is it less tangible? Kindness perhaps? Something quiet and enduring and unspoken, or the gentle words we speak to others, or our moments of appreciation of Nature?
Do we score more points if we work harder, and what about sacrifice, and pain, and hardship – if we still struggle on, have we found new meaning? What are we all trying to achieve or prove, or aim for, and how much does it differ depending on the circumstances we were born in to, or the way we happen to look at life?
Can we ever be considered ‘equals’ if there are so many standards and variables – not one measure that can cover ‘one size fits all’? Or is this the key to unlocking the meaning of the multitude of experiences we bundle under the banner of ‘life’?
With every question comes the desire for an answer. If any part of our life feels unfulfilled we are then left searching for the missing ingredients or the solution, the elusive ‘something is lacking’ that will then top up our cup, or tip the scales in our favour if we can find its opposite and harness its power to lift us – raising our level as we ‘fill our lives to the brim’. Overflowing with goodness when we hold out our hands to claim what is ours. Seizing all that life has to offer because we are willing to accept it, the answer staring us in the face once we learn to acknowledge it – it is so simple.
It all depends on how we look at it.
If we think our lives meaningful, how can they not be? If we accept all our failings as ‘gifts’ that allowed us to discover more about ourselves, then we are only accumulating blessings. If we take each conflict and see it resolved without the need for resentment and blame, we can find wholeness again.
Everything we think we need to make us happy is in reality an obstacle to our progress, because it is born from a desire for something we think we don’t have. We seek improvement or betterment, or constant gratification, yet all we need reach for is appreciation.
We are all equals because we can never be apart from each other, no matter how much of an individual we strive to become. We share the same common goals – we participate together in the grand scheme that governs all things. We are here to embrace life and to make the most of it. Not to cower from the spotlight and to hide away our precious dreams – to be everything we hold in esteem.
A being – being aware that every breath that sustains us does so for a reason. That we have a purpose, a role; a contribution to make that goes beyond any donation we might give. Every single one of us has a unique way of looking at the world based on all of our ideas, beliefs and collected experiences. Not one of us is the same – we have all been shaped by the different forces at work in our lives. Worn smooth over time, as the rough patches have been polished away. Mellowing like a fine wine, as we reach the peak of our maturity.
Wiser, as we make our way into our senior years, having let go of some of the impetuousness of our youth, and having adjusted our priorities to ensure our comfort.
Cushioned, contained, and protected from adverse conditions – the future is now preordained. The clock ticking as the hands move forever forward – further from the days we might like to claim back.
The memories remain, fixed in our minds-eye or the pages of albums as a fragment, a piece of the puzzle of who we are, fading, or as vivid as the instant they were lived in real time, replayed over and over as a reminder. Things unrequited or relished, regrets, or moments to cherish. Each impulse our own as something triggers us to recall the past. A vast encyclopaedia of emotions and reactions that are activated by a reference point that takes us straight to the right page.
As we turn over a new leaf in life we can never escape what is already written. We’re busily penning our own script as we go along, introducing new characters and plots in our efforts to add a touch of excitement to what we might consider the ‘quite ordinary’.
We’re following a timeline – we started at the beginning so there must also be an end – the round of applause before the curtain goes down on our act, the bows from all the members of our cast, as they accept acknowledgement of their performance.
We know it is all an act. An illusion, or there for our amusement. The critics are happily doing what they do best – looking to separate the good from the bad and to judge it at either end of the spectrum, or worse still, to settle on mediocre or average – a grey area – that neither fills us with anticipation nor fuels media speculation.
We’re used to extremes; love or hate, recommend, or retaliate with poison, reward or punish the people involved. Ratings either carry stars, or fall off the radar. We judge everything according to an invisible scale of what is deemed ‘acceptable’, or just quite possibly the opinion of someone we don’t know but have grown to believe we are meant to respect, because they should know.
We mark experience accordingly – we see experts as holding the right to judge something we are not too sure about from our own level of experience. Our lives become filled with black or white, and wrong or right.
There are only two options – to aspire to the upper limits of the scale or to plummet to the outer limits and leave the register. We don’t like messing with ‘Mr In-Between’. The no-mans land of neither here, nor there – the flatline of nothing to engage or inspire, or equally enrage, or fuel our fire. Argument arouses our passions, and debates heat up even the coldest reception.
We create addictions. We gravitate towards behaviour that is aimed at generating a response. We deliberately try and invoke discomfort in our audience. We like dramas. Our entertainment industry thrives on our fascination with the dark side of life as it plays on our weakness for the worst-case scenarios, and preys on all of our personal fears.
We live vicariously through the ups and downs that occur in others lives, and even though we know it’s an act, we’re still drawn into the outcomes. We are witness to the consequences – we get to experience the results of others actions from the comfort of our padded chairs, as we join a roller coaster ride through the highlights and low points of carefully edited productions.
Love peaks our interest, and death-defying feats have us holding the edges of our seat. Our own lives are no match for this ‘virtual reality’ – we don’t have the stomach for all of this action – because as we know, we’re aiming for the smoothest ride, and we’re quite familiar with the brakes.
When it seems like things are getting away from us or about to run out of control, we hit the pedal. We put our foot down. We might even throw ourselves into reverse in the effort to recover some ground. And besides our natural reaction, our reality is a different kind than we are used to seeing on the screen.
If we’re lucky, our daily life isn’t filled with the need to solve murders or escape from impossible situations, or to worry about how best to spend our millions. We tend to be occupied with more mundane issues like what to have for dinner, and all the things we’re meant to remember to do before the week is out.
The motions we’re going through don’t involve spectacular mid-air crashes with special effects, or larger-than-life sized monsters intent on interrupting any musings we might have had of a safe and peaceful world. One minute we might be happily skipping along unaware of any danger and the next kaboom – chaos rears its ugly head and devours any chances of us settling into a blissful state.
Is it any wonder we’re restless? Do we think that if we learn to relax that we become complacent, or as soon as we let our guard down, that we’ll be challenged? Are we more accustomed to remaining ‘on alert’, fully charged up and ready to go, should the inevitable happen?
Have we trained ourselves to perform under pressure, and forgotten that there’s more than work – our leisure? The moments when we are completely at ease with who we are and what we are doing, and loving being, without any thoughts about the downside or consequences of enjoying ourselves, and our precious time. Without the need for a trade-off, an opposite, or a flip-side – the requirement to make-up for our time off by doubling our efforts to perform, as if we have to somehow make up lost ground because while we were sleeping the world has moved on, and we must therefore catch up.
We must wait for the moment, and jump back on the roundabout or the treadmill that sustains our forward momentum, carrying us closer to our goals. An endless cycle of chasing our tail – or the known route to freedom, as our lives continue to revolve around money and the things we need to do in terms of gaining it, and putting it to good use.
The solution to all our troubles, or the cause of the majority of our woes? The subject of many of our inner battles, or our means of rescue, should we find the way to command it and allow it to carry us from our present predicament? Does it give us control, or control our every move? Is it an excuse we make – a convenient lie to keep us from our fate?
What if our heart is telling us it’s set on following an unfamiliar path – will we let it win, or try and rein it in? Do we err on the side of caution, and give in to reason, because the alternative is simply too scary to entertain in our lives?
Can we accept a compliment graciously? Can we look ourselves in the eyes with the love and admiration we reserve for others? Can we drop all pretences about what we’re consumed with doing and instead, get used to the idea of being? Can we forget about everything we are still chasing and give ourselves permission to enjoy what we’ve already got, without working ourselves into a knot?
What does it take to make us have a break – and in doing so, ‘taking the brakes from our lives’ and relinquishing the need to control where they are going? Are we on track? Have we done enough to ensure that we reach our destination – or is it that we’ve become so occupied with every outcome, that we’ve forgotten to enjoy the scenery?
Isn’t Nature filled with greenery? The plants around us creating the oxygen that enables us to survive. The sun extending its rays over the land with the dawn of each day, bringing life to everything on Earth. The water that sustains us, filling our reservoirs and supporting the entire web of life. The oceans holding everything in balance as the ecosystem is maintained as a functioning whole organism.
And the earth, the soil gathering the nutrients that come from the cycles of decay so that new life can emerge. We can’t be separated from Nature – even if we choose to live in a man-made environment we are never apart from the processes that govern the evolution of all things – every living thing plays a part, whether consciously or unconsciously, in the continuation of the whole.
What do we perceive as our role? Are we contributing to the growing wave of consumerism, or intent on ensuring the continuation of our environment, and the survival of all species? As we take, what exactly do we give back? Our waste in a form that feeds the entire system, or a waste of precious resources that no longer return to the earth, after the series of processes they have gone through in order to render them fit for our consumption?
How far removed have we become from the food chain that was designed to keep everything in check? As we stand at the supermarket checkout, are we mindful that Nature doesn’t come with a shelf life or money-back guarantee?
It was never intended to be bought, or sold, or divided into allotments based on serving one groups interests over another’s, or put into any of the neat little boxes we might use to try and contain its growth. It is wild, completely natural and free to roam wherever it needs to, in order to survive. It demands nothing but adherence to the natural laws that prevail over all of life in order to maintain its wellbeing.
It just is. Automatically serving a purpose, existing for a reason, part of the chain of things and contributing to the wellbeing of all other things. Even a plant we might consider a weed cannot be weeded out of the integrated workings of the system. We might not understand its purpose, but it doesn’t mean that it is null and void because of our lack of belief in it.
The minute we think we know something, Nature is liable to prove us wrong and defy any reason. We see examples all the time – the weather refusing to sit within previously monitored extremes, pushing the limits of our interpretations as we are forced to consider alternatives. Nothing is fixed or given or controllable, as much as we like to think we can stamp our mark on it, it is more likely to challenge our thinking.
Life is mutable. It continuously changes and transforms and flows away from any firmly held notions that seek to confine it to our present level of awareness. It is always in a state of becoming, of flux – of potential about to be realised, rather than a carefully trained bonsai that behaves in accordance to our attention to it.
The more we confine our lives the more trapped we become, and the more we try and define our limits, the further we come from realising our potential.
Holding on to a fixed notion of ‘reality’ only keeps us locked into a series of beliefs that set the boundaries of what we think our reality is; like the coordinates of a holding pattern we remain within a confined space, going round and round in circles – repeating our actions and falling back into old habits. Life has us caught in a maintenance cycle – we maintain our beliefs and convictions and reap the results of our focus on them. Full stop. Not much room is left for improvement or expansion, as we are putting all our energy into controlling what we already have.
Our world is based on a system of control. We have structures firmly fixed in place that allow us to navigate our way through our daily lives as we adhere to all the rules that govern society, and provide the framework of our existence. We get used to working with them – to finding out how to use this system to our advantage in order to prosper, or equally, move to the sidelines and create a new set of bearings if we are unable to make sense of why things must be done in a particular way. Some of us like to follow, and others to initiate changes that then allow a new channel to open up. Once popular opinion is swayed in favour of any new course, acceptance is gained.
In this way we evolve socially, moving towards new ideals that are introduced and changing our beliefs accordingly – once any one direction has been tried or proven it is considered safe to adapt and adopt, to inch out of our comfort zone and into an uncharted territory, that we nevertheless consider predictable.
Safety rests in numbers – we like the idea of some kind of group consensus to support this venturing out. We share opinions and build our repertoire based on what others have discovered. We have unknowingly slipped into the realm of ‘expectations’.
We expect our reality to follow a particular model, and that’s exactly what we get. Why would we think any differently? And if we’re busy seeing the results of our efforts, how are we to know that there is any other way, or even begin to imagine an alternative reality that might be filled with different choices?
Yet we all hope, we share an ideal that it is possible to find fulfillment no matter what we do, or however difficult our lives might become – we still have to have something to hold on to, the prospect that there is always something better around the corner, if we have the strength and patience to wait long enough. It requires only a leap of faith to move our mindset from what we’re currently experiencing to a better place. We know how it works – think about it, feel it, imagine all the facets of our dream and we can be it.
Voila – a new chapter in our life commences when we close the door on the past. A cycle of constant renewal if we are aware of it; just as all of Nature flows through its own seasons, our lives are meant to be constantly refreshed and revitalised through a series of initiations into new ways of being.
Shedding any firmly held convictions makes way for expansion. We expand our awareness, and through gaining understanding we grow. As we grow we gain clarity
– we experience the results of our actions and start to perceive more and more about the intricate workings of our lives, and our connections to others. As we open our eyes to new possibilities, our minds are open to exploring a whole new world – we gain a wider peripheral view of our role and our purpose, through a natural process of evolution that can only be called ‘an awakening’ to a deeper level that lies beyond any physical progress we make when we push ourselves to perform.
There is no set exam or relevant qualification to cover the scope of our new vision. There is no external measurement or system to comply to, nor rule book to inform us, nor set of instructions to guide the way. We start seeing things in a new light.
Inspiration comes, unbidden, when we befriend it. Opportunity knocks and we can hear it. As we become receptive to new ideas we become ‘receivers’ of higher and higher frequencies or ‘nuances’ that we are now able to perceive. It is as if we ‘tune in’ to a different station, or start to pick up a broadcast on a ‘broader bandwidth’ than if we had a narrower view of the world.
Consciousness follows through; any line of enquiry or constant questioning always results in relevant answers being drawn into our lives – it is unavoidable. Energy is attracted to us and as we transmit our desires (think of them as radio signals), the Universe is busy answering them with experiences that match our order – triggered unconsciously as we then convert energetic impulses into a conscious or waking reality.
The Law of Attraction explains many of the workings of this system – as we start to pay attention we get to monitor our own progress based on tangible results.
Yet belief systems that have been ingrained in our psyche cannot change overnight. We evolve in increments, raising our level of understanding as we go, little by little, making progress towards the limitless ocean of possibilities that lies just outside of our ever-increasing perception.
Our choices increase because we start to see the myriad paths open to us. We perceive the threads, or the interconnections between all things; we start to see the part we play – and the roles that we all play, in shaping our world.
We become more ‘accountable’ – seeing the knock-on effect as the result of our own individual choices-in-action, and ultimately become more responsible, more conscientious, and more considered in our approach. With the realisation that comes as we monitor our progress, we refine our lives to the degree that we become driven to make a difference, because ‘we are the difference’.
We become the ‘live demonstration model’ of what it takes to make the world a better place – by example – by living and breathing everything that fills us with the most joy as we continue to find new ways of expressing our ideas, creatively contributing and initiating new ways of being. We naturally move beyond any need to follow and learn
by example, making new inroads and forging new paths that others may draw
inspiration from.
Enthusiasm breeds more of the same. Passion fuels the fires of creation. The Universe grows through our participation as each and every one of us finds the spark that ignites our own flame, then pulls together in a common cause – a great beacon lit as more and more people start to live up to their ideals and find a new footing as they reach an elevated state of understanding – of seeing things from ‘a greater height’.
In other words, the perspective accompanied by innate wisdom gained through self-knowledge, and bringing with it knowledge of the intricate workings of everything we are connected to, for we cannot be separated. The moment we realise the role we play is the moment we realise the world. No amount of studies can prepare us for the insights gained through direct experience.
We start to see how we can ‘do no wrong’, that no matter how much we might punish ourselves or feel guilty for our actions, they lead to the point of self-discovery and are therefore the most valuable lessons, tailor-made for our exclusive needs – all nicely packaged up as an example of what we need to learn in order to progress up the ladder that leads to ‘higher states’.
Is it that simple? Live and let live? Living and letting go of the consequences, because the more accurately we begin to comprehend them, the easier it is to get caught in a cycle of worrying too much?
Can concern for actions cause undue concern for our behaviour? Or can our desire to ‘do good’ outweigh the benefits of actually feeling good? Do we start to second-guess results and begin to wield a double-edged sword where responsibility weighs heavily on our shoulders? Can we unknowingly take on the burdens of others and a sense of despair at what we see going on in the world, as we take in the enormity of the results of our collected actions, and widen our view of the road we are headed down?
Do doomsdayers and naysayers hold on to potential for evolvement, or herald disaster? Why do we believe prophecies that see us spiralling towards our own demise, when all they are is fear in disguise, or a package of lies?
There is nothing more precious than the power of our conviction when it is imbued with love. Loving thoughts and love-filled actions speak louder than the words that sometimes make us uneasy. We’re not used to defining our lives by love alone, we use the expression, but it doesn’t always hit home. Love is intangible by nature in our fact-filled society. Fear on the other hand comes in many guises – we’re used to dealing with it more directly.
Fear is an expectation of varying degrees of ‘belief of probability that something bad is going to happen to us’ – whether it be on a physical, emotional or mental level – in some way, we will become the recipient of an uninvited experience, or the victim of circumstances that lie outside of our control, because we believe the world to be unsafe, and we recognise that there are forces beyond our control.
Therefore, we plan for it. We entertain the idea that we must be prepared should the worst happen, and run through each scenario in readiness. It’s ingrained; part of what we grow up with, better ‘safe than sorry’ the saying goes, and we learn to keep ourselves ‘on our toes’.
Fight or flight mode is programmed into our everyday operating system as we assess risks and face the unpredictable – going out to brave the world, and retreating back into our cocooned world where we feel most comfortable. For some it is easier, the excitement of the unknown comes naturally, and for others it is traumatic, as any environment outside of what is predictable, or known, creates anxiety as they lose familiar bearings. Thus phobias develop and we all have things that stimulate us, triggering emotional responses, or irrational impulses, when we reach a point where we feel overwhelmed by a situation that is outside of our usual perimeter.
Comfort is a zone we all create based on our unique experiences and inherent beliefs. Discomfort appears when we cross the demarcation line we’ve drawn for ourselves. If we then shift our perception, we continue to grow ‘more comfortable’ with our relationship to new environments and circumstances – it’s no different than when a baby takes its first steps into new territory and starts building its perception of its environment from a different eye level, having previously been lying down or on its knees, and now getting used to seeing things from a new vantage point.
As we grow in stature our vision changes to accompany our progress. We look down on children and up to the treetops. Most of us miss out entirely on the miniature worlds we once saw. We have a roof over our head; designed to contain us in a fixed space, and rooms; each with an allocated function to give us room to experience different aspects of our lives.
Is it surprising we then like to compartmentalise our lives? That we learn to divide the parts of our days so neatly, and direct our activities so precisely?
Nature doesn’t have a ceiling. The stars are further away than we can even begin to imagine. There’s no front door we can lock against invasion, or add to this equation.
If we’re afraid of wide open spaces seemingly filled with nothingness, it’s because they are vastly bigger than our walled worlds, and far from containing, they offer expanse.
Desert: miles upon miles of wastelands, barren plains – the remotest parts of the world stretching to an endless horizon of more of the same. Frightening, because there are no corners? Threatening, because we don’t know the rules for survival? Eerie, because we can’t see any signs of habitation? Or hostile, because we can’t secure the perimeter? We’re ‘wide open’ to the elements, exposed and vulnerable, because we don’t know where we are, and therefore, ‘how we stand’. Insignificant perhaps? No match for the forces that Nature can summon at any moment?
Have we been taught to fear the land, or is it that many of us who have grown up in cities haven’t had the chance to read its signs and to navigate by what we find? If we observe carefully we start to see patterns. We recognise an underlying order, a unifying principle – a harmony that exists that is the glue that holds the whole system together.
Where there is water, there is life – that in fact, what we might first perceive as being rather barren is teeming with abundance, when we pay attention to the details. That what might have seemed to be unwelcoming, soon becomes refreshing as we let go of our load – setting aside all of our beliefs and preconceived ideas about ‘danger’ and relying instead on our own in-built instincts that alert us to whether our survival is threatened, or not.
What might be considered the ‘old ways’, the methods passed on through indigenous peoples and traditions. A way of sensing, that lies outside of our normal preoccupation with logical thinking. Intuition – direct experiencing and knowing based on a physical response from our intelligent system that something ‘feels right’, because we’re using our ‘second sight’.
As we attune to higher frequencies we become ‘aware’ on many higher levels. The two go hand in hand. We contract in smaller confined spaces – withdrawing and retreating, closing down many of our faculties and numbing our senses, literally becoming desensitised to our surroundings, as they are so familiar.
We express ourselves in this contracted state – not free to spread our wings but ‘caged’ and perfectly happy to accept the confines of our prisons, however gilded. We fill them with objects we admire, and distractions to entertain us before we retire. We go about our routine functions in our home, which serves as a base. Our ‘pad’ – a launching pad, or jumping off point that permits greater things, then the shell that we crawl into to relax after our excursions, ‘our container’. Containing not only our belongings, but all of our hopes and dreams, and fears and disappointments, and allocated tasks and memories.
Holding our past. Taking us back continuously to the things we’ve promised to do. To the piles of paperwork and affairs that are gathered awaiting our undivided attention, and the maintenance we don’t like to mention. Our anchor: fixing us to a known point in space, weighing us down. Part of a chain that we can never quite see the end of as it stretches out of sight. Visible only when we’ll admit it’s there.
Instead of floating in a sea of possibilities we’ve made a firm choice. We’ve staked a claim on a piece of territory we call ‘home’. We are bound by obligation and responsibility, operating under the strict guidelines we have written that inform us of
our duties.
Life becomes filled with demands, and we always do our best to meet them – to keep our end of the bargain, or fulfill our contract. We adhere to ‘conditions’ and expect them to govern everything we undertake, so it is not surprising they underpin everything we create. The rules are there for a reason; without a structure everything tends to crumble into disarray – we can’t guarantee it will go our way.
Conversely, if we study the playing field and know the rules of engagement we can have a degree of control over outcomes – once again putting Nature into a neat little box and imposing our finely-honed wills on our environment in the effort to manage all of the details of our lives, without factoring in the element of surprise.
Sound familiar? No matter which way we explain it the answer is the same – we want to be the ones in control of our destiny.
We like to set goals and then reach them. We’re the ones that like to define the parameters and then go about our own business, obtaining the results we have been trained to expect will come. We need to exert force, or our will, or dominate to achieve a desired outcome – building everything to our own level of satisfaction and then watching it fall into line accordingly, as everything sits in its appropriate place.
We impose an order. We imbue our creations with security. We gather our assets and accumulate our wealth to show just how masterful we are at managing to override the natural tendency of all things towards change, and instead provide stability that prevails, even when an ill wind blows.
Mastery is measured by outward display of such strength and prowess. Positions of power are gained from a proven track record of what is seen as the successful building of ventures and empires. If a name endures it creates a legacy. Towers rise as a testament to its might, and as a brand, it is recognisable on sight.
To out-trump ones opponents is to gain the upper hand. To possess one-upmanship is the key to gaining entry to ‘closed doors’. Once status has been achieved and sustained there ceases to be a need to climb to the top, for a peak has been reached that announces ‘made it’.
‘Made millions’ of course, ‘made a name for myself’ that will go down in the annals of history, ‘made progress’ – inroads – having ridden the wheel of fortune and found it in my favour.
Or ‘self-made’: a winning combination of blood, sweat and tears and conviction, and perhaps a brilliant idea that was implemented has shone through and culminated in a meteoric rise through the echelons to take centre stage – or the penthouse apartment with sweeping views.
It’s interesting we think of success as a ‘rise’. A raising of the bar, a vantage point
to be gained by stepping up to a new level that provides a better view.
Entry into the seats that have been reserved for those who deserve more. Membership into new social circles, and introductions, or initiations, into new ways of being – becoming accustomed to demanding the best. To being waited on or attended to, to suddenly being admired by those who must now tilt their eyes to look up at our achievements. Not ‘on a par’ but a notch above – just as celebrity status elevates those in the public eye to be at one with the Gods.
Our modern heroes understand business. They know how to make money. They’ve tipped the scales in their favour and watched their vision grow. Whether they’re a sports star or property magnate, our 21st century moguls know how to work the press.
What use is money if it can’t buy the rights to attention? How can success be measured if it’s not compared? How can someone be elevated if they’re not visible? How is wide recognition achieved if it is not able to find a foothold and saturate the market with a message?
A one-hit wonder is no match for consistency – of the proven ability to grab and retain attention over time. And that’s what happens – it takes time. A proven track record; a reputation once gained must be continuously reinforced to become established. An image needs to be fed.
In our fickle world, we believe what we’ve read. Opinions count and we form ‘pictures’ based on reviews and the words of the so-called masters of their professions, who give their expert endorsement to whatever happens to fit the current model.
Everything has an underlying pattern, or a score. Points are given in accordance to how a person or an enterprise answers or completes a set of measurable criteria. Just like recording ‘box office sales’, results are tallied and points gained; the movers and shakers of public opinion are the influencers, the ones that sway others, the spokespeople who have the power to steer voters, and to cause people to lean towards a particular direction.
They have an angle. We are gently nudged or pushed to respond. Back to the image of the scales: they are therefore tilted – having weighed up the options we make up our minds, and must then take sides. Black or white? Wrong or right? Admirable or abominable?
Forced to decide, we must commit our minds. Yet if we look at where this leaves us we are in a precarious position. How can we maintain our balance if we’ve left the natural centre of gravity?
From an impartial position we get to see both sides – objectively – for what they are. We are able to see the ‘big picture’, taking into account all of the forces or workings that have shaped ‘both sides’. We could call it a point of justice or truth, because both sides are observed with equal measure. We have no vested interest or opinion, or no expectation attached in either direction. Our feet are firmly on the ground in a neutral stance – we are therefore centred within our self and can find clarity through acceptance of our clear vision.
We are neither ‘weighed down’ nor elevated – we are at a point of equilibrium; neither victim, or downtrodden, or at the mercy of the elements, nor lifted above others with a sense of superiority or power – we can see everyone as equals.
As we stand poised or balanced, and learn to appreciate all points of view, we integrate them into our understanding. We learn that we don’t have to compete, and that there are no expectations we have to meet. That we are no more dwarfed by another’s achievements than we are subject to failure – it is all relative. That the two sides are in fact equal and can no more represent the highs and lows – that it is all for show.
An illusion once understood has no power over its audience. When everyone is in on the trick, there is no longer a credible performance. When we are informed we can never be deceived, for we simply cease to believe.
Beliefs hold structures in place. When we place our faith in someone or something we invest our energy in it, we give it power. We say we believe in another person, or an object, or a promise more than we believe in ourselves – because we’re not whole and capable, or we’re lacking, or missing something that we see as being ‘outside of ourselves or our capabilities’. Hence we reach out and hold on to ideals, constantly seeking improvements or things that we don’t have, because we’re taught to never be satisfied. That if we rest on our laurels we are missing an opportunity for betterment, or fulfillment, and that the key lies beyond what we currently have because we can never be complete when there is so much left to do, and to know, and experience.
The world is filled with miraculous things and they are ours for the asking. Our busy lives are full of activity – overflowing with actions that we undertake in our quest to understand the secrets of success through deriving satisfaction from our tasks, hobbies and pursuits. Always chasing a dream. Grasping on to fragments of light that bring a sparkle to our eyes. Following a path or hatching a plan, off on a tangent from where we began.
Evolving, learning, growing, assessing and evaluating our progress by what we see as results. The results of our labours evident, as we apply our systems of measurement.
A continuous cycle that has us caught in a repeat pattern or held within a framework – there is no escape from our own judgment and no matter what the conditions there is always set criteria, because there is still comparison.
Contrast leads us on. Less than happy experiences have us demanding more of ourselves and renewing our efforts to get it right. A failure only fuels us to fight, a mistake makes us determined to aim for the light.
On and on it goes, our energy directed through ebbs and flows – back to the thrill of highs and lows. Drama after drama as we rally our resources and prepare for the next round of challenges that life is surely ready to throw at us. Is this not what it’s all about? Perhaps without being shaken up we’ll sink into a stupor – by riding the rollercoaster at least we know we’re alive.
How do we define alive? Living, breathing, a healthy pulse, or as a state that is more invigorated – the force of life flowing through us and energising both body and soul, something of a heightened state from just functioning as a living organism?
We talk of feeling more alive when our lives are fuelled by enthusiasm. Our spirits are lifted when we are filled with a passion for life. It is more than a passive state; we’re suddenly receptive to higher frequencies or energetic vibrations. In other words we tune-in, or are able to perceive more intuitively. We reach higher dimensions of knowing.
In allowing ourselves to fully express what we feel joyfully we create and receive far greater flashes of inspiration as we attract new circumstances to ourselves. It is as if the whole Universe starts to weave a symphony that supports our endeavours and we begin to not just find satisfaction, but to flourish.
Why do we settle for ‘survive’ when every part of our being was born to thrive?
The driving desire that carries us is the need to reach our peak, to somehow answer a calling, to find out what it is that we are good at, or love above all else, and to do it well. To put our heart and soul into everything, not to leave it at the door when we enter into an environment or tasks that we define as soulless – selling ourselves short – or caught in the act of compromise in order to line our pockets, so we can then buy what we think is missing. Time? Or something more valuable like our health – the basis of our wealth.
Happiness has a glow, as we radiate vitality, it shows. Conversely if we are confined to a dark corner we eventually wither away, the life-force drained as we struggle to just exist. The choice is clear, is it not so obvious that it stares us in the face?
In the face of the demands of our modern society it is easy to justify our actions within the acceptable range of ‘normal’ that most people seem quite content to operate within, the limits clearly defined. The outer impression designed to blind others to what really goes on ‘behind the scenes’ as a turmoil of emotions are tamed, and priorities ignored or rearranged.
Most of us are adept in the art of suppressing our true feelings for they create confusion – they interfere with our illusion. Logic tells us that to get ahead, we cannot remain in bed. With the sound of the alarm we must spring into action, armed and ready for whatever life chooses to deal us. An Ace of Cups or a sword in our back, we’re always prepared to face an attack.
What if we set all of our worries aside? Are we afraid that they’ll bite us, or is it a matter of pride? The more we expect the more there is to do. The more we take on, the less time we have, and the more that we earn and the more that we have, the more we must manage in order to live. Yet what is contentment, and why is it so hard to define the simplest equation of health, happiness and free time?
If we believe that we’ve done it we’re most of the way there, for accepting what we’ve achieved, even if we sense it is unfinished, acknowledges our efforts, regardless of any measure we might happily apply that labels them worthy or not.
We’re often so hard on ourselves we forget to look at all of the steps that have led us to where we are, in this very moment. We’re much more accustomed to looking at what we haven’t done, what we’re yet to achieve, and what is waiting for our attention, or lies as yet unfulfilled – the promises we’ve made along the way reminding us of milestones or broken dreams.
If our lives were tallied on a balance sheet – a profit and loss statement – are we in the red? Not just with accounts but with people and tasks in arrears, always on the back foot, or so it appears?
Lack after lack, disappointments only mount, we don’t even notice – we’re out for the count. Not thinking of blessings or great things we’ve done, regretting past actions or questioning and commenting on others behaviour, or sharing our grievances about the state of the world, and the economy, and our nation.
There’s a lot to think about. Our heads are filled with facts and figures that we gather from the moment we start to study text books. The paper adds to our knowledge. Crises and current events feed our growing picture of how things work. The more we glean the more we consider ourselves informed and abreast of any external conditions or market changes.
Analysing, rationalising and anticipating, we are poised to adapt to the downturns and upturns of the forces that we believe must govern our lives. We’re intelligent creatures after all – majority rules. One false move and we know we’re undone – not a minutes rest until we can prove we are secure, the effort important, because we’re used to war. Our defences are ready and we expect problems and delays, we’re certain the world is a dangerous place.
The whole of our focus from the moment we are born feeds this perception and then builds upon it as we add more and more reasons to fear – we don’t even register that there is an alternative, because we’re not looking for one.
Most people have a pretty clear idea of what reality is, especially when it comes to making money or to putting food on the table, or to going through the motions of going to work each day – because it is ingrained. Programmed and indoctrinated in our collective psyche – completely and utterly seen as being both normal and necessary. Only those who fail to conform are immune from the ‘norm’ – on the fringes of society and judged accordingly as not being able to fit into the mould that most believe they come from.
Are we all made equal? Why is it we like to be seen as alike? If we keep making comparisons, do we dim our own might? Or is it that no matter how hard we try to express ourselves as an individual, we also fit into a ‘whole’ – the whole of society, the whole world, our wider environment or ‘sphere of operation’. We can’t ever be separated, no matter how alone we might feel. We clump together in subcultures and seek to find others who understand us – who see us, or who think the same way.
We are social animals. In seeking acceptance and approval we are also fulfilling a desire to share our uniqueness, to shower others with our gifts, to give and to radiate our kindness as we receive the blessings of others in return. An exchange. An ongoing, evolving engagement in what we might term ‘hidden assets’, the intangibles – the things that aren’t measured by our monetary system. Emotions, love – ethereal things that underpin all profitable transactions yet have no dollar value placed against them.
The things that most agree we can’t buy, no matter how well-endowed we are financially, or how much we deal in favours – the people who touch us the most have no motive. We can all tell the difference between unconditional behaviour and actions based on a desire for praise or an outcome, or designed to manipulate a situation.
We’re all capable of using either to ensure our needs are met. When we act with an expectation, we try and control a situation. Conversely, if we act unconsciously by following our heart – our instincts – or an overwhelming desire that urges us on, or triggers an impulse, we are merely listening to ‘what feels right’. We don’t expect, or need others to understand.
If we deny what we feel then we deny ourselves. We smother our need for expression, for spontaneity, for what happens to be our truth, our way, or our special offering for the rest of humanity. If we worry about how we will be received we switch from childlike wonder and delight into doubt and fright. We retreat; our joy suppressed by our own habit of second-guessing reactions.
We’ve accumulated a storehouse of experiences that warn us off any random acts of kindness and love. People look at us strangely if we stand out. It’s safer to recede into the background and to concentrate on subtle actions that will slip through undetected. After all, we don’t want praise, just to be able to be who we need to be without modifying our behaviour too much.
We can curb a few ideals and shelve a few dreams – we’ve learnt to keep things steady vs. swinging to extremes. ‘Highly volatile’ is not tolerated, we prefer everything moderated. ‘Toned down’, knocked back, or smoothed around the edges – melodious notes – a chorus of voices working in unison to achieve a result. We like to achieve a consensus – to make sure that everyone around us is happy, unless we’re unhappy with them of course.
We make others business our own and interfere in all manner of things that don’t really concern us. Gossip spreads, and work colleagues are easily led. Once we have fixed our beliefs we like to sway others opinions by turning them one way or the other – for or against. Once again, perpetuating a form of duality – of separation – of two distinct ends of an invisible spectrum that divide our attentions and call for commitment, pulling us in one direction or another.
A constant battle if we engage. Our energies fragmented or scattered as we catalogue every single relationship and aspect of our lives into either a ‘winning pile’ or ‘against our best interests’. We’re either content, or not. Ticking along quite happily on minute then called into a disagreement. Enjoying something the next, until someone jolts us from our reverie and taints our perfect vision by adding their point of view.
It’s exhausting. Even trying to express it in words leaves us confused. Do we ever really stop to think about it? Or is it that we’re so accustomed to accepting this as our reality we don’t even think to question it?
Isn’t it normal to be in two minds? Usual to fluctuate as we address various dramas, and then try and regain our equilibrium? Essential to voice our opinion and then to stand by all of our convictions? Perfectly acceptable to judge everything that we see and to sum it up in a way that we can control it, because we’ve labelled it? And alright to continue oscillating between love of one thing and hatred of the next? Or is that too harsh?
Are we more familiar with dissatisfaction or frustration? Or on first-name terms with procrastination? Is it easier to deny the feelings of joy that arise so we can be sensible?
Sensible in regards to not letting our imagination run away with us? Or not lifting our hopes too high? Or just sensible shoes that allow us to take everything, once again, in our decisive stride? Striving towards our goals, our sights fixed on our target, our mind fully occupied with all the steps we need to take in order to achieve it. The march of progress that we assert control over – the horse with blinkers, unable to see anything but the straight and narrow path in its direct vision.
What about other possibilities? Why do we like the idea that nothing is left to chance? When the wheel of fortune turns in our favour, is it not a cause for celebration?
When we are showered with blessings and abundance, all is forgiven. Petty grievances are put aside and nothing that mattered really matters in the grand scheme of things, because we feel looked after.
We know we’re lucky. We thank those lucky stars that made it all possible. We bathe in the glow of plenty and savour life’s beauty. It is as if someone has come while we were sleeping and magically transformed everything we see – the sun is shining, the birds singing, the flowers blooming – our senses heightened to the song of creation and wonder as we revel in the delights that life offers us.
This fine-tuning or refinement, or altered perception, literally lifts us. We notice details. We see everything through rose tinted glasses because we are happy in ourselves. And the minute we sing our own happy tune, what happens? What do we observe?
Others catch on. The feeling is contagious – good spirits and good cheer begets more of the same. If it’s that simple, why is it so hard to remember? Do we have to wait until we’re ‘feeling great’ and somehow try to extend the magic of the moment – holding onto it as long as we can until something pulls us down? Or is it all a matter of how we choose to look at every single thing that happens to us?
If we find the goodness in each and every moment and collect it, it grows. Drop by drop we soon collect all that we need to enrich our spirits, and to brighten our lives.
Look at it the other way and each precious drop runs away. Once spilt it evaporates, disappearing before our eyes, draining us drop by drop – robbing us of the joy of the most simple pleasures. The cup once upturned cannot accumulate, for by Universal Law, its contents dissipate.
When we reach out our chalice to gather the dew,
Each drop to our lips with life does imbue.
Ignore Nature’s bounty and push it away,
Till nothing remains – have we had a good day?
Golden are the rays that shine,
Golder still this cup of mine.
Filled with moments cherished dear –
It ne’er fails to bring good cheer.
Golden is this amber wine,
Honeyed is this heart of mine.
Remembrance in each taste of nectar,
Lingers softly, each day the better.
The Holy Grail some call its name,
When all we want remains the same,
Not a quest without but a search within,
For rhyme and reason to begin,
To see things in a different light,
Requires not power nor earthly might,
But vigilance and reverence most true,
Towards all of life, whether by me or you.